Offering up

For several weeks now I have been quite ill which is a novel experience for me. As I was being admitted to hospital the nurse said incredulously "At your age you've never had a general anaesthetic before?" and I answered "I've never even been in hospital before." (Even my babies had been born at home, and were very easy births) We agreed I had been very 'lucky'("blessed" I said to myself). So this was my first experience of 'offering up' my pain to God for others, I'd read about it, and knew how important it was but I'd never had the chance to actually do it before. And I was rather disappointed when I did. I don't know what I expected...an easing of the pain? ...a feeling of peace?...I don't know. But whatever I expected it didn't happen; the pain was just as bad, there was no lessening of my distress, I was still as scared. But in faith I believed that I was helping some priest somewhere. Praise God.